Thus Far into 2016

Time for another update.

Life seems to have finally settled down. From actual photography business to visiting family to getting really sick, our family has been taking a ride on the wild side for the last two months!

January kicked off with two new clients to Eden and Me Photography, which, of course, is my photography business! I was beyond stoked. I will continue to learn throughout every session I have, but I really think I'm getting better and it's nice (like fireworks, glitter, to the moon nice) to once in a while have a client knock on my door. Patience is a virtue, and I'm definitely learning that with this whole photo business start up.

Kevin got an important job assignment these last few months, so he's been tackling that. I think he's been doing awesome, if not more than awesome. But that's probably because I'm his wife and I see how dedicated he really is to all tasks given to him. There's been a few long nighters for him, but he's pulling through.

Liam is at such a fun phase of life right now. He's learning new things everyday, and he surprises me all the time. His personality is brighter than ever. He has become a picker eater, refusing to even try asparagus and corn (if mom has to eat it, you do too! ha jk). He used to love that stuff! He is on the verge of talking... which is beyond thrilling. It's interesting too, because some words are coming out Spanish all the time and others (most) are English. I'm so proud of Kevin for sticking to the whole "speak only in Spanish" to him, because he seriously understands everything Kev and I say! It's become second nature in our home now. I don't even really feel left out of conversations when Kev speaks to Liam. I think I'm learning too... at a much slower rate.

My sister, Savannah, came home from her 18 month mission two weeks ago!! She is so different, but so the same. I guess I was worried that the distance and time would weaken or weirden our relationship, but I can honestly say that she's still one of my best friends and still laughs at my sometimes inappropriate jests. In other words, some things just don't change and I think we picked up where we left off. She's amazing, and has grown so much. Sometimes our maturity scares me... where did it come from? Age? Experience? Idk, but I'm glad I have sisters to share those parts of life with (and brothers, but they're still pretty young).

After welcoming home Savy in MN, we all came home... and Liam and I got sick. Liam with an ear infection and I with a cold that turned into pneumonia. Ugh, Kevin escaped the plague. Lucky duck.

We're all well now though and busy. Kevin is working out everyday and portioning meals and I will be working out soon (hey, I had pneumonia!). We want to look and feel our best for Hawaii in June. I need the endurance, otherwise I tend to get sick, so we are working hard. Kevin more so than me right now, but I'll join him!

I think that's about it. Oh Liam is in nursery now... and it feels so right! Except I miss him, but I think he has a much better time in there than with me, so I get over it fast. Gosh, I love that kid. Yep, now that's it.

Look at this accomplished young woman!

So proud!

He is such a fun little boy. I am so beyond lucky to have him as my son on Earth.

A Taste of Death

I never posted anything on this when it happened, so I want to post it now.

A year ago today, I was admitted into the ICU suffering from Septic Shock. I hadn't been feeling well for three days. I had gotten worse and worse. It started out as pain in my breast, which I attributed to mastitis from breastfeeding. I got the antibiotics the same day it started. However, instead of getting better like the nurses had said I would, I was getting worse. Every time I called the doctors for help they told me to give the antibiotics more time to work. The pain became so great I would not eat, and yet I was throwing up every few hours. I had an infant child I was still trying to feed and I was still going to school.

Two days after the pain started, my doctors finally let me come in for fluids, because Kevin called and freaked out on them. I think they were surprised when I limped into the office. They gave me a fast acting antibiotic and said if I didn't feel better by tomorrow they would help me go to the hospital.

I didn't last the night. At 3 AM the pain was so intense I couldn't take it anymore, and I told Kevin to grab Liam and take me to the ER. We got in, and they started running blood tests. We still thought this was a bad case of mastitis. However, when they took my blood pressure and saw that it was dangerously low, and saw, from the tests, that my kidneys were failing. They said I was in septic shock and would be put into the ICU immediately.

For some reason I don't remember much after that about my hospital stay. Lots of bright lights, quick decisions, signatures, needles, and drugs.

I ended up getting a central line connected from my neck to my heart that pumped antibiotics. I had four IV lines in, and I had to be given oxygen. I spent three days in there.

The doctors said, once I was able to think straight again, that if I had not come in when I did they didn't think they would've been able to save me. They had never seen a case like mine and had been up several nights trying to figure out how to save my life. And those doctors, truly did, save my life. I was told by several nurses that I was the youngest person in the ICU they had ever seen suffering from Shock.

After almost a week in the hospital, I was allowed to go home. I just remember being achy everywhere. I also had to have a PICC line installed in my shoulder, so I (or should I say Kevin) could continue giving me antibiotics through an IV.

For the next several months, I struggled with everyday life. My mom and dad couldn't stay to take care of me, because I had seven siblings at home that needed them too. Friends (beautiful, amazing, friends) and a few of Kevin's awesome siblings came to help me for the first few weeks. They helped me so much. I was so defeated to have to ask for help, but I really couldn't do it.

I couldn't eat much. Couldn't lift Liam by myself. I couldn't walk well. And every few hours I needed to be given antibiotics. Seriously... I was on so many different antibiotics and pain meds that I can't tell you any of their names.  I ended up losing about 30 pounds because of all this. Which put me at about a hundred pounds.

I ended up having another abscess form in my breast a month later. It ended up exploding out of my skin (gross stuff).  I have a permanent scar there. A few months after that, I started losing handfuls of hair and suffered from severe vitamin D deficiency. Luckily, many doctors coached me through and these new worries subsided after a few months.

I look back at this time and I remember a ghost of a girl. She cried every night, couldn't sleep without waking up in a puddle of her own sweat, couldn't leave the house, couldn't lift her arm up because of bruising, and only could hold her baby if someone gave him to her. She thought she was dying everyday and that it wouldn't get better. She thought God had forgot about her again. She piled up the trials in her life, and said that no God would've given so much to her to bear.

I'm 23 and I've... gotten married, had a son, had a stillborn son, had a literal near death experience, and I graduated from college. Man, I'm tired. I sometimes feel like I've aged in decades more than individual years since graduating high school. Real life is hard, and I mean it. haha.

But looking back at this particular experience, a year later, I find myself in tears. I did get better. I can lift my arm. I can lift my kid. Heck, I can run again (like a goof, but still)! All things have their time, and they shall pass.

The Lord allowed me to stay in this world. He let me regain my strength. He sent angels to help me as I struggled. He made sure I had a man like Kevin to bear things with me. He let me see how everyday is a gift and how fast life can pass before our eyes. I'm not very good at putting my feelings into words, but I testify of the divine mercies of the Lord. He may not give everything back the way it was. Like I will probably never be able to breastfeed again, but I'm ok. The Lord is good. And I have faith that He only gets better as we continue to serve Him. Christ is where my strength comes from, and with that, I will never be weak.

A picture I took of my little family before we left Utah. 

This is me taking a shower at the hospital... because of all the IV lines, I could only use a shower cap thing and some soap wipes. Oh and don't worry, I told Kev to take the picture. I thought I looked ridiculous. 

Last day in the hospital. I told Kev I wanted lots of pictures, and I
wanted to be smiling in all of them.

So this is all the crap I was on for like two months afterwards! 

This is what I'm talking about... so like on top of all the people coming to help us.
People gave us these little gifts too. It touched us in so many ways. 

Little Liam and his mommy. I got obsessed with taking pictures of us
together after everything, because I realized I could've died and
didn't have many pictures with him. I've since calmed down.

.

Falling into Fall

Everyday life here is quite amazing. I must say that there is beauty all around. This last week, we celebrated my 23rd birthday. When did I get that old? Man, I still feel like my 19 year old self. Kevin went above and beyond to make the day special for me.

I awoke to muffins and waffles ready on the table for me. My kid was even already fed. After breakfast, Kevin let me run and get ready for the day. He then told me that he was taking the day off work! Liam went for a nap and Kevin told me I wasn't to leave my bedroom until he told me I could. After being blindfolded, Kevin led me downstairs and told me that "Elefun" the elephant brought me some presents but that I had to find them. Kevin made up this fun game where he threw slits of paper down from the landing and I had to catch one to know where to look for a present. I had two minutes to find it, before "elefun" thought I was ungrateful and returned it. Haha. There was way more gifts than I thought, and they were way more impressive than I expected. Kevin seemed to have remembered several things I had mentioned throughout our marriage that I would want someday. I was amazed and very spoiled.

He then took me to a pet shop where I got to pet some kitties. I also got treated to a yummy Italian dinner at a new place. It was really fancy and great. Next time, I vote to go without our kiddo though. He wasn't as big of a fan as we were with the food.

Anywho, it was great. This last weekend, our little clan went out to a pumpkin patch near us. It was super fun. The farm was really cute and I found myself asking permission to shoot family pictures there... answer to come. Fall is by far my favorite time of year. However, Washington is making it hard to enjoy the fall weather with all the rain. Something we will have to get used to. I still make Kevin take me and Liam on walks in the evenings, rain or shine. I've gotten pretty good at holding an umbrella over both Kev and I.

This week holds a lot of fun stuff. I get to do a family shoot. And I get braces!! I know this might sound weird, but I've actually wanted braces since I was in 5th grade (I had a big gap). But because of finances behind having 9 children (quite understandable), my parents were not able to give them to me as a kid. When I went to college, I told myself I would have straight teeth for my wedding day... but then I got married after my freshman year. haha. I made Kevin promise to give me braces someday... he agreed and now it's finally being fulfilled. I'm so excited! Braces, I've been told, are an uncomfortable and not fun experience... but I am soooo grateful that I even get this opportunity to have them that I don't think I'll mind. I have always been and currently am a very weird kid. No pain, no gain.

SO MANY BLESSINGS!!

Other than that, I figured I'd include a little thing about October's Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness going on... Obviously, this month is supposed to be about making sure the public is aware of the losses that occur with miscarriages, stillbirths, and infant losses. October 15th, my birthday, is the day of remembrance.

I always thought it was a weird month awareness. I didn't think too much about it, even after the loss of my Eden. Eden just was a part of my family, and I didn't feel like I needed to do something about it. However, it has become clearer since the first year after having Eden that a lot of people do not think before they speak. Haha. Miscarriage is a real, painful, and emotionally draining event. A stillbirth is a depressing, perplexing, and tear-stained circumstance. And an infant loss... I can only imagine.

As one of the many women that deal with issues and losses, I find that I don't want to be in silence to the blessings and the tears involved with these. I kinda feel like I am forced to be open about it, because all of my losses happen so late (happening after the grand announcement). I don't need pity, I just want to make sure people know that I have two boys, and that, this year, I was supposed to have another child in December. People make it awkward when you talk about it, but death is a fact of life. It happens. It will happen. The only thing the living can do for the dead is to remember them (there are a few other things, but you have to go back to remembering them first).

It's ok to remember hardships, sometimes those hardships are what pushed you to go further, and made you want to be better. To the women who suffer losses such as mine... isn't that sky beautiful? Those birds make the prettiest of tunes. Enjoy this life. It's beautiful. I go back to my thoughts about braces... life, "I've been told, [is] an uncomfortable and not fun experience... but I am soooo grateful that I even get this opportunity to [live] it." No pain, no gain.

Love you all and thank you to all those who remember my little Eden. Thank you for not putting me in awkward moments on purpose, and for understanding that everyday I still am trying to understand the life God gave me.

My biggest blessings!

A New Life...

So I'm back on the blog. It's only been over a year, right? Nothing too long.

Life has finally settled down for my little Hinton clan. This last year was a crazy one. We welcomed our little boy, Liam, into our family in September (of last year). We actually just got to celebrate his first birthday. Time sure flies.

Kevin and I graduated from Brigham Young University! Which was quite the accomplishment, given our last year. It was an amazing feeling to graduate. I can't believe I did it. I had so many doubts and lack of motivation, but I did it! So did Kevin, but I'm the writer so I tend to focus more on me. Haha.

We moved out of Provo, Utah and headed to Washington state. This is where our new chapter will begin! We are renting a cute little house that is perfect for us. Liam already has determined he is comfortable enough to venture anywhere in the house. He goes up and down the stairs effortlessly... nowadays if I turn my head for too long, he will suddenly be upstairs playing in his room by himself. He is so adorable.

This summer came and went extremely fast. I
 think that's what happens with a move. We got up here, looked for a home, found a home, waited to move in, moved in, and then tried to settle in. The summer was just gone the next thing we knew! I was lucky to have relatives come and visit us. Both on my side and Kev's side. It was such a wonderful experience to have people in our home. I never really got to be host in my apartment very often, so I find that it's actually fun. I sometimes feel like I'm actually playing the real "house" game! I have a baby and a house and everything! It's unreal.


I don't want to sugar coat my blog too much, so I'm also going to include our latest hardship as well as these blessings. About two months ago, I had a miscarriage during my 2nd trimester (17 weeks). It was rather devastating and I still find myself not fully over it, both physically and mentally. I won't go into too much detail, because of that fact... BUT I have faith that there will be a post somewhere in the future where I express God's plan in all of it. I am grateful for that knowledge and the comfort that can and will be found. Babies and children are truly a gift, and I am reminded of that, yet again, through this experience. Liam is my miracle on Earth and I will always be so grateful for being able to be his mother.

On happier notes, I find myself in a state of being busy again. After a month of doing nothing but binge watching netflix and little Li, I am now active. I have goals and things I am doing at all times. Even in my patriarchal blessing, it strongly suggests that I need to be actively doing things. I'm back to writing my book (how many years will go into this thing?!), art projects, photo projects, and now I'm looking for a sewing project. Surprisingly, it works wonders with my attitude and my perspective. Yay for to-do lists! (Wow, I've grown into a weird woman.)

My little one year old. When did you get teeth and so much hair?!

Kevin likes his new job. Microsoft is such a neat place to work, and the benefits are amazing. Kevin currently enjoys playing ping pong with his coworkers at lunch and is busying all the time as well. If it's not his own app projects, I have home projects for him too. He has made my backyard beautiful and well managed. He has also helped me paint Liam's room and one of our bathrooms. He also has fixed a toilet, fridge water dispenser, and two ceiling fans. He is becoming quite the handy man in our house.

That's us for now. There's a lot of things coming our way, so another post should be coming up here soon. I don't have a lot of photos as of late. I blame the fact that my phone got too full of pictures, and wouldn't let me take anymore. (Don't worry Kev fixed it... now.)

Grandma, Papa, and Kayla on a ferry! They were my first visitors!!!

Um... yeah. I look like a mess, but my son is the cute one in the picture. 

My little sister with my son. Crazy! They are so cute together

My brother and the hairdo he did on my boy. Nice!

All my brothers play football, but I only got a picture with Jackson this year.
I know what you're thinking, "she has some good genes"
To that I say, "well yes, yes I do" ;)

Continuing the Craziness

This month has been a rather interesting one. I feel like I've been running around like crazy for most of it, and I know Kevin feels the same way.

I created a rather extensive "to do" list for the summer. I figured I needed things to keep me busy while being alone eight hours a day everyday of the week. Little did I know that I sort of bit off more than I could chew. Haha. I really wanted to make onesie vests and cardigans for this little mister. I have never sewn in my life, so I had my mother in law, Sherrie, show me the art while she visited us. After tackling it most of June and all of July, I can now say that I am done with the vests!! The cardigans are another matter... 

After our hotel stay for the night... idk why i'm in socks

My photography business needs a good kick off, so I decided I wanted to make my website for Eden & Me. That's still a work in progress though. Designing a website turns out to be hard... and I'm way too picky. I'm still trying to finish my online writing class as well. I should have known I'd lack motivation for an online class in the summer. Oh well.. I shall finish you! 

Crazy pool fun!

I wanted to learn how to can. So Rachelle took me on a raspberry adventure. We, then, got together and canned for an entire morning afterwards. Kev and I also got to go on a very.... memorable... camping trip with Rachelle and her girls. Any camping trip that ends in a hotel stay is a memorable one, I'd say.

Ok, so you're starting to see the craziness, right? I'll spare you more of my to do list, and go onto what's been happening!

Kevin's family reunion was held in Utah this year; which we thought was funny, because we live there and we had to actually travel because we are out of town for the summer! Haha. It was a long road trip for a 33 week prego and we ended up having a lovely flat tire, but, luckily with some help and God's grace, we made it and it was fantastic. It was nice for both of us to see and hang with all the Hinton clan. It was my first reunion with them, since we missed the one last year. They even threw me a baby shower while I was up there. It was just a fun trip all together. 

We then traveled back, and I hopped into a plane to Minnesota for a week. My mom and dad flew me out to be with Savannah one last time before her mission. I was spoiled again with another baby shower that my mom prepared for me as well. This little dude is already way spoiled and loved on both sides. I love being with family. Truly, the Celestial Kingdom is a place where families are together and not apart, because I can imagine no better a place.

While I was gone, Kevin had his Microsoft event! Although it was a rather stressful one compared to last year's, he still walked away from it with a smile on his face. We now have some pretty cool tech gear that Kevin has been thoroughly enjoying for the last few weeks. 

Upon returning to Washington, Kevin and I celebrated our 2nd Anniversary. I know it was late.. but we wanted to do something big, and so we waited to be able to have an entire weekend of fun. We went to the San Juan islands! We had to take a ferry to get there, and we stayed in practically a closet... but it was worth it! It's all about the adventure! We went sea kayaking, which was my favorite, and we saw a porpoise! We also walked to a lighthouse, and saw a very well done Twelfth Night play in the woods. Oh and I just have to throw in that we saw, up close and personal, 8 deer, 1 fawn, and a baby  red fox! If you know the nature girl inside of me... you know that just that alone makes the trip worthwhile! It was fun to be with the hubby seeing and doing something entirely new for the both of us. 

After a night at the hospital,
we found out everything is fine!

Any who, that's been our one of a kind summer thus far. Lots of running around and projects. As for the baby boy, he's been growing! He gave us a scare six weeks ago, and I was hospitalized for 24 hours. But because of that, we now have no fear of whether he's doing ok or not. He's a moving and happy little man, and we cannot wait for his arrival. Although, I'm nowhere near ready for it! Need to get back to Utah to start my nursery constructions!! ;)

Now enjoy some pictures.... because we actually have quite a bit from the last month or two! Oh and they are not in order of how they were taken.

My handsome man staring off into the ocean

A beautiful site from where we started our sea kayaking

Us being our crazy selves..

Forgot about our big concert fun!
Yay for Christmas presents in June!

The beautiful lake that was right next to our hotel that we got to
enjoy the next day

Our companions through it all!

Fourth of July togetherness!

Flat?! NOOOO good

Animal ridin' with my niece at the Family Reunion

So we like flirting with ourselves sometimes, especially when we are
sitting in a car for two hours for a ferry ride

Just continuing the love... again we waited for quite a few

San Juan... you are beautiful

Our San Juan closet for the weekend!

kayaking

My bathing suit doesn't do much complimenting, but hey we needed a pic!

Shakespeare under the stars... super fun!